A funny thing happened on the way to the plunger

After a week of snow and freezing cold temperatures, I went out last Saturday night. I had a party to attend. I grabbed some Sushi ahead of time and then headed to my friend's house. Nice party, great house. Too many breeders for my taste. Who brings her dog to a fucking house party? I mean, really? The party was a little too cliquish for my taste. Who did these queens think they are? I watched football in the other room, talked to some friends, and then stayed as long as I could handle it. I said Good-bye to my hosts and left.

I hit one bar for the drag show. Ugh...this town has the worst drag around. These "girls" think they are the shit. They do two shows of "bad" and should do just one GOOD show...if they can do that.

I left and hit up another bar on the way home. It seemed everyone was there. Fun crowd. I don't promote drinking and driving, but we have all been there. And I had some to drink. And kept drinking.

There was a friend of mine there who I have been crushing on for some time. Lance is so fucking sexy. He is a little taller than me...hell everyone is TALLER than me. And he is big and beefy. We had been flirting off and on since last summer. And tonight looked like the night.

I also had this blonde college boy that I fucked the hell out of a year and a half ago wanting a piece as well. But he had flaked too much since he moved to town that I pretty much wrote him off. He kept messaging my Blackberry all night while I'm standing next to him at the bar. Your loss dude.

But Lance...oh, Lance...you are so HOT! Such a man. Last call came...and I followed my crush home. We both had to piss. Once that was done I was in his bedroom. We were pawing at each other and kissing and licking and roughhousing. Lance is ALL MAN! Just like I like 'em! His cock sprang free and it was BIG and ROCK HARD! Damn...I want some of this. I was on my knees and his cock was in my mouth. Lance was groaning. I reached up and grabbed his pecs and twisted his nips. We both liked it rough. I believe all the pent up lust from the past year was coming out in both of us.

We fell onto the bed. And he wanted some cock so I fed it to him. As I was looking down at my cock go in and out of his mouth...I started to feel light headed. Oh shit, I thought. Not now...

I would reach down and jack his cock as he sucked me. I wanted more of his dick. So I moved down and started to suck him again. Damn this is a nice cock I thought, he has got to fuck me with this. I threw his legs up and start to lick his hole. YUMMY, I thought.

"I love getting my ass licked, and it feels fucking great. But I'm not a bottom." Lance said.

"Works for me. I want you to fuck me." I said.

I sat up and started to feel dizzy again. Whoa...ugh...

"Hang on." I said. I went to the bathroom. I knelt down to the porcelain God...and nothing happened. Ugh...I splashed cold water on my face.

I went back to the bedroom. "You need anything?" Lance asked. "Water please." I asked.

He came back with a glass of water. I drank some water. Whew...maybe a little better.

We got back at it. Sucking. Kissing. Making out. Nips. Rolling around. And then he had to pee again. I sat up. Uh oh...

I ran to the kitchen. And that was it.

I threw up.

Ugh!!!

And vomiting Sushi is NOT PRETTY!

"You alright?" Lance asked from the bedroom.

"umm....no..." I answered. And I kept vomiting.

The sink backed up. I was vomiting in the sink without the garbage disposal. Wrong sink you idiot, I thought to myself. He came into the kitchen and saw what was happening. He left. Then returned with a plunger. He started to fix the mess that my insides put in his sink.

I was so embarrassed I headed to the bathroom. I grabbed the toothpaste I saw and put some on my index finger. Growing up I was always told by my father that if I didn't have a toothbrush just go ahead and use your index finger, it works the same.

Ugh...

I walked back into the bedroom and Lance was stroking off. He actually kissed me which took me by surprise. I reached down and stroked his cock. A few minutes later he was shooting all over his chest.

"Can I get you off?" Lance asked.

"I would love to, but my cock is not cooperating. And I believe I need to get home. I would love to stay, but I have a large dog that needs to be let out."

"Cool man." he said.

I got dressed and he walked me to the door. We kissed again.

"I hope you feel better. Let me know when you get home please." Lance said.

"I will."

I made it home, let my dog out, and slept into the afternoon. And felt like hell the rest of the day.

Oh well. Not all the hookups turn out the way I want.